Coping With Infertility on Mothers Day, Fathers Day
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are incredibly celebrated occasions in our culture, when we honor the women and men who have nurtured us throughout a lifetime. Stores are filled with cards, flowers, and balloons; family fun days are planned; restaurants are packed.
While our society is celebrating, many are unaware of how difficult these days are for couples struggling with infertility. It can be a dreaded seasonal reminder of how unfair their journey feels. The pain is sometimes overlooked by loved ones, or they simply do not know what to say. If you are a couple struggling with infertility, consider making plans now for how you plan to spend those weekends.
If you have had a desire to conceive a child of your own, you have a maternal and paternal gift within you. You have gone through a lot of physical and emotional challenges to fight for a means to offer your gift to a biological child. If you find yourself still in the fight or have had to face letting go of that fight, the reality is you still have this gift within you. The gift cannot be taken away.
I want you to think about where you can channel your gifts. You might have nieces, nephews, friends’ kids, work or volunteer with youth, or have considered foster care or adoption. None of these will replace your desire for a biological child, and you will need time to grieve that loss.
However, you have something to offer to the children around you in a way that is unique from adults with children. That deserves to be celebrated. Take some time to show love to your own parents on these “holiday” weekends, but also make plans to take care of you. Pamper yourself, relax, travel, do something fun, and acknowledge the strength and courage you have shown while facing the struggles you have encountered.
If you have loved ones coping with infertility, acknowledge them on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. You do not need the perfect words to communicate. A simple, “I’m thinking about you today,” “Do you need company today? I’m here for you.” Or, “You are very special to our children and we appreciate you and honor your role in their lives today.”
But, respect their space if they request it. If they are not open to hanging out with the whole family or participating in a group activity those weekends, let them have room to cope and heal.
Infertility can be a traumatic experience for both individuals and can cause stress on the couples’ relationship, as well as with family and friends. Professional counseling can be an important tool for processing related emotions and maintaining healthy communication.
Contact our office at 321-209-4796 for support services.
Kristin Woodling, a licensed mental health counselor and certified marriage and family therapist, owns Pamper Your Mind, LLC in Satellite Beach. She is devoted to providing a confidential and elite therapeutic experience to professional women seeking healing, clarity, and balanced lifestyle for optimal health.