How is Your Financial Health?

Holistic health is a practice that values all angles of life that impact our wellbeing. Physical and mental health are two of the more popular categories that people consider when assessing their overall health. However, financial health is an important category I often see overlooked. Most of us would agree that money doesn't buy happiness, but it can create significant stress.  

Financial health is not about being wealthy, but rather feeling a sense of control and peace with your financial circumstances. Getting to this healthy state has more to do with your thoughts and feelings related to managing money than it does the numbers themselves. Whether you have a lot of money in the bank or very little, you must take time to understand your relationship with money. Do you hold back on spending money you clearly have for fear of facing poverty you once were in? Do you not believe you deserve the things you can afford? Or are you on the other extreme where you spend more than you have to impress others?  

Most of us dream where we want to be financially, which usually involves winning the lottery. It’s OK to dream. Many of us have specific goals we are working toward financially. Goals are good to have. But when is the last time you evaluated what it would take to be at peace financially? To feel a sense of control?  

When you break down what that means to you, you might find that you could be at peace right where you are. You also might find there are simple steps you could take to find peace of mind quickly. You don’t have to let go of goals, but finding peace with your current situation is freeing.

For example, I had a client who was financially well off for many years. Due to some traumatic life circumstances, she lost a lot of her hard-earned money. She came heartbroken to my office feeling panicked and stressed over her new financial situation. Once she was able to work through the grief of her loss, she was able to see she had food on her table, a roof over her head, good health, and skills she could use to once again work toward her financial goals. She found peace with where she was financially, while still identifying goals she would like to work toward.

Set Healthy Goals

Even without loss, financial peace can help set healthy boundaries. There will always be a carrot to chase. Professionals working for a large corporation or owning their own business can easily fall into the trap of equating more money with success. Unfortunately, sometimes this drives individuals to lose sight of what is important to them, like their physical health, mental health, and relationships. 

When you’re at peace, you can better evaluate when to turn down promotions or  “opportunities” that require you to sacrifice more meaningful things in your life. Success is measured by more than your bank account.

Once you have taken time to reflect on where you want to be individually, financial wellbeing is an important conversation to have with your family. Just like most parenting strategies, when you and your partner nurture financial wellbeing together, you will naturally role model and teach these values to your children. 

Couples’ Money Views

Financial stress is common with couples. As the saying goes, opposites attract, so consequently, the way two people in a relationship manage money can be quite different. It can be simple differences that cause the biggest frustration, such as one partner wants to use Quickbooks or Excel to manage money and the other prefers pen and paper. One wants to evaluate finances weekly versus one wants to discuss monthly. One partner might want to save more and spend less, where the other partner prefers to live more in the moment and tuck away less.  

The key is communication. Try having conversations about goals you each have and what it means to each of you to be at peace with your finances. Keep the dialogue going to explore where each of you can give and take in these areas to reach common definitions of peace vs goals. I often see in my practice that once you can let go of the idea that your perspective is the right one, the healthy place to be is somewhere in the middle of how each partner views and manages money.

Seeking Help Can Help 

As you define your place of peace with financial circumstances, if you truly find yourself not able to be at peace, knowing where you are trying to get to is helpful. Being where you need to be is more attainable than where you want to be. This makes your next step closer and will hopefully make your circumstances feel more hopeful.

I encourage you to evaluate patterns that led you to your current circumstances. Rather than just looking at numbers, take time to understand why you are overspending. 

Seeking professional assistance can help you get past roadblocks to financial wellbeing. A financial advisor can guide you in putting together a specific plan and offer some accountability. A professional counselor might be helpful in breaking unhealthy mindsets related to money or build stronger communication skills with your partner. 

Next time you are evaluating your overall health and wellness, be sure to evaluate your financial health. Your finances should not have power and control of your life.You will always find control over your finances by recognizing the choices you have in your current circumstances. It may be actions you need to take or it might just be a change in perspective.  

Kristin Woodling, a licensed mental health counselor and certified marriage and family therapist, owns Pamper Your Mind, LLC in Satellite Beach. She is devoted to providing a confidential and elite therapeutic experience to professional women seeking healing, clarity, and balanced lifestyle for optimal health. 

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