Tracy's Wellness Journey: Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

Let me ask you a question. How many times in your life have you had to adjust to circumstances beyond your control? If you’re anything like me, you have probably had multiple events throughout your life that you were not prepared to handle, or at least you didn’t feel prepared at the onset.

Often the hardest changes to understand and adjust to are the ones that are completely unexpected, such as a major disaster, recession or global pandemic like the one we are currently experiencing. Who would have ever thought we would be living through something like this? Not me.

Change can be painful or positive depending on your current life situation. The fact is change is always hard and sometimes it can even get messy while we’re trying to figure it out. There have been several instances in my life that have been difficult but have led to beautiful destinations. It wasn’t something that I could see or feel at the time I was going through it, but it inevitably turned out to be the best thing for me.

During the last 45 days of social distancing and the stay-at-home order, I have learned a lot about myself. I started social distancing and or self-isolation on March 17 and have had very little physical contact with the outside world. For most of my life, I have been a very compliant person, so when the experts said people with existing conditions such as diabetes were at a higher risk, I took that to heart and managed myself accordingly. Some thought it was extreme, and some thought I didn’t move quickly enough.

Setting boundaries for myself and sticking to them was hard. I’ve always been accustomed to taking care of other people, even if it was at my own expense. On several occasions throughout this process, I found myself confused and uncertain. At first, it was easy because I had always been on the go, and was so tired that I welcomed the chance to rest. Once I recouped and plans were being cancelled or rescheduled, it was a bit more challenging. I was tempted, but I chose to honor my decision. Clarity helped ease the discomfort.

Anger was an emotion I experienced frequently. People seemed to just carry on with their day-to-day lives like nothing was happening. I would wonder if I was being too cautious, but then the news would break with evidence that validated my position.

Things were happening in my daughter’s life and I couldn’t jump in and rescue her. I could offer emotional support from a distance but had to trust she would persevere. She did! And that’s when I realized she has her own journey to walk and if I continue to interfere, she won’t learn the lessons she needs to learn. 

A therapist once told me that anger is the emotion we choose in order to avoid the less comfortable feelings of fear or sadness.

This is not normal. Life will be different for all of us from here on out. That means change is inevitable. I’m learning to use new communication technologies and spending time reimagining how my business can evolve and grow with this massive change. 

I’ll admit; I’m afraid. I’m afraid of loss, I’m afraid to fail and I’m afraid to disappoint. As I decoded my fears, I discovered that I was afraid of not having control over the situation or how quickly I would have to adapt to new circumstances. Here is where I ended up: I must keep the faith.

God has a plan for each of us and no matter what we do, we don’t have control, he does. My job is trusting God and his plan. Thus far, I have never been let down. My needs and some of my wants have always been taken care of and with each difficult circumstance, something beautiful has transformed. Why should now be any different?

I would encourage you to spend time reflecting, learn more about yourself and feel your feelings. Embrace this time with your family, meet the changes head on, pivot if you have to and trust the process of life.

“Faith isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice to trust God even when the road ahead seems uncertain.”

~ David Willis