Moms’ Romantic Reconnection Part 1: Declare Where You Want to Journey

Motherhood is a journey filled with boundless love, selflessness, and unwavering dedication. It’s also exhausting! Amidst the joys and challenges of raising a family, it's easy for moms to lose sight of their identities as women. 

For years, many have shaped their identities around being a mom, inadvertently feeling disconnected from their partners in the process. This sense of disconnection often becomes more apparent as children grow more self-sufficient, leaving moms longing to rekindle the connection and romance before they become empty nesters.

If you're a mom seeking to reignite the spark with your partner or deepen your connection, I’ll outline the best place to start to help you navigate the journey in this part 1 of a 2-part series. Like any adventure, starting is often the hardest part. So, take notes as we embark on this journey together.

Road Trip to…?

Mel Robbins, one of my favorite authors and podcasters, uses the analogy of going on a road trip. So, what is the first thing you would do if you were about to jump in the car to embark on a journey?

Before getting behind the wheel, you decide where you are going and put the address into your GPS. In relationships, this translates into “what do you want?” Before reading on, write down this question and spend some time trying to answer it: What do I want my future to look like in one, five, 10, or 20 years down the road?

Chances are high you have a clear vision of what you don’t want. Often, the answer to what you want is simply the inverse of what you don’t want. 

If the answer eludes you, then I suggest trying something to engage what Shirzad Chamine, author of “Positive Intelligence,” calls our non-thinking brain. Chamine suggests that to evoke a curious mind, we need to slow down our left brain and access more of the right side of our brain. Neuroscience shows that our right brain lights up when we are curious or experiencing empathy. We shift our thoughts to the right brain by self-soothing and involving some of our five senses. 

Breathe to Slow Down

Personally, I use dozens of techniques and have found that this also dramatically reduces stress. If you need proof that this works, I challenge you right now to jot down how stressed you feel on a scale from 1-10. Then try this 60-second exercise from “Positive Intelligence,” and with additions from the Health Coach Institute, see if your stress level drops.

For just one minute, try what I call the 5/5/7 breath. Take a deep breath inhaling for five counts, holding for five counts, and slowly exhaling for seven counts. This will activate your 10th cranial nerve, which flips your body almost instantly into a relaxed state. While doing so, use your sense of sound by listening intentionally to the furthest away sound for 20 seconds. Then intentionally shift and listen to the closest sounds around you. Then for the final 20 seconds, listen to the sound of your breath entering and exiting your nostrils. As a bonus, continue breathing and place some fingers under your nose, feeling the temperature of the air as it enters and exits your body. 

This simple exercise will slow down the judgmental side of your brain and make it easier for the answers you are looking for to flow freely into your mind. Doing small steps, like stealing one minute to de-stress, can change the trajectory for the next hour of your life, helping you become more productive and giving you a greater sense of wellbeing. 

Mom Guilt No More

When coaching busy moms, I’ve discovered most feel guilty about taking time for themselves. Are you scrimping on personal self-care, exercise, sleep, eating balanced meals? Do you take time to play, dream, explore? 

Most are so caught up in pleasing or serving others that they feel guilty taking time for themselves. If this sounds like you, take a deep breath and realize that if you don’t allow yourself time to dream and envision what you want for your life, then odds are high you will keep experiencing more of what you have now.

Once you know what you want, going back to Mel Robbins’ analogy, you can take your foot off the brake and slowly move in a new direction.

What I’ve just described is the basis or starting point for healthy boundaries and habit change. It begins with clarity of what you want and what you no longer will accept from yourself. Although each person has a different vision of what they want, the process to get there is basically the same.

I’ve spent years refining this process for myself and have organized the steps for a book I’ve been writing. 

As Mother's Day approaches, remember to prioritize your own needs and desires. Take time to reconnect with yourself, setting healthy boundaries for self-care and personal fulfillment. The deeper connection you have with yourself, the easier it will be to deepen the connection with your partner.

This Mother's Day, give yourself the gift of clarity. This newfound connection with your inner voice will help you navigate and keep you on the path to what you desire most.

In part 2 of Moms’ Romantic Reconnection, I’ll explore steps you can take to reconnect with your partner.

Free Guide

Johnny Lascha is offering a free guide to healthy boundaries and compassionate communication. Email him at johnny@ccvideo.net to receive a PDF of what he calls a roadmap to finding your voice.

Connect

Johnny Lascha
Beachside Health & Life Coaching Services
321-693-1681
www.beachsidehealthandlifecoaching.net

Meet Our Thought Leader

Owner of Beachside Health & Life Coaching, LLC, Johnny Lascha is a certified life coach and health coach, trained in the Habit Change Coaching Method. His niches include relationships, increasing energy, lowering stress, rebuilding self-esteem, weight loss and reducing the habit of self-sabotage.  He’s also a group facilitator of the Gottman Institute’s ‘Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.'