Tracys Tips to Cut Stress and Sail Through Back-to-School Season

Transitions can be stressful, especially when they involve your children. Back-to-school season is yet another stressor in a parent and child’s life. Add in the blending of families, time-share schedules, extracurricular activities, health checkups, and new routines it’s clear to see why back-to-school shopping is more stressful than holiday shopping.

Oh, how I remember those days. As a mom of five, I recall back-to-school being overwhelming. Between shopping for shoes, clothes, school supplies and getting each child registered at school, it totaled a few thousand dollars every August. And as the kids got older, it became even more expensive. Calculators for high school math were a couple hundred dollars, and each year they needed a new one with more functions. According to Statista.com, it is estimated that in the United States, $41.5 billion dollars will be spent in 2023 getting the kiddos ready for school.

In preparation, routines shift and emotions are escalated for both parents and children. It can take weeks to settle into a comfortable groove. The hardest part for me was finding a balance financially because it was tied to my own childhood memories of starting school each year. 

My family was not wealthy by any means — I started working in the 4th grade. I babysat and delivered newspapers to offset the financial burden of back-to-school shopping for my parents. The peer pressure was crazy. My friends’ closets were packed with beautiful clothes, and my mom shopped at Goodwill and garage sales. She even sewed bands of fabric on the bottom of jeans because I’d grown so much during the summer. She tried to convince me it was trendy.

I realize my parents were doing the best they could with the resources they had, but the emotional impact of ridicule scarred me. I never wanted that for my kids, so I over compensated when it came to spending on their clothes.

I was always an advocate for year-round school. It seemed like it would be a more comfortable and consistent schedule for teachers, parents, and kids that allowed for quarterly breaks — but it never came to fruition. Although I was young, I had mad planning and organizational skills! I learned how to make it work.  

Here are a few of my best tips to survive back-to-school:

1. Stay positive

Good vibes elevate everyone’s energy. I used to write motivational notes on paper towels and sneak them into my kids’ lunch boxes. I made time to chat with them. This got more difficult as they became teenagers. I drove them to school with the specific intention of getting 15-20 minutes of quality time twice a day to talk. Once they got their learners’ permit, it also gave them time to practice. My husband used to tell our daughter, “Learn something,” and I would say, “Have a fabulous day!” One time she replied, “Every time you tell me that, I do have a fabulous day!” Positivity works.

2. Planning & prepping

Combining these together can be magical. I grocery shopped and prepped meals on weekends. When making things like spaghetti, taco meat or soup, I made extra to freeze, which came in handy on the nights we were at the ball field, or our work life got in the way.

Making school lunches the night before was essential — if we didn’t do that, everyone’s morning would become more difficult.

3. Establish routines

Kids like boundaries. Experts say they crave it. It allows them to feel safe while learning to respect others, and it gives them a sense of control over their lives.

As adults, we tend to establish morning and evening routines for consistency and structure in our lives. It helps us think clearly and accomplish the things that matter most throughout the day. Kids need routines for learning healthy habits and managing their time. Routines help them develop a sense of responsibility and independence. These routines will be the foundation for success as adults. 

4. Self-care 

Self-care is essential, but it was not my strength. My mom used to tell me that if I was OK, my kids would be OK. Learning how to manage your energy is vital to the family. It can help you reduce and even eliminate stress, anxiety, and depression. Reading a book, soaking in the tub, taking a nap, taking a walk, or going to lunch with a friend are great starters.

It all requires intentional practice, self-awareness, and grace. Life is hard, but with the right mindset, some healthy routines, a little planning and self-care, you can do it. 

You can do hard things! 

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