Publisher: Life Boundaries Create Balance Between Perfectionism, Professionalism
My entrepreneurial journey and sales career began in 1995 after spending a decade working in the field of property management. Our family had outgrown the housing accommodations that were a part of my compensation package.
Leaving this position meant I would have to double my income to cover the costs of housing. This transition required faith, courage, and determination. I would be juggling all the family responsibilities and running a business — which I had never done before.
I remember my “practice husband” telling me that I needed to level up my wardrobe and be more professional. As in business suits? Just the thought of wearing a business suit, pantyhose, and heels every day made me cringe. I was not a “suit” kind of girl and was determined to figure out another way that would be acceptable, yet professional.
In my mind, clothes didn’t make or break a person’s level of success — it was more the values, skills, demeanor and tenacity of the individual that would determine their level of success. I wasn’t going to try to be somebody that I wasn’t.
In my first couple of weeks of cold calling (door-to-door selling), I learned that the more dressed up or professional looking I was, the less attention I got. People could sense I was there to sell them something and wouldn’t give me the time of day. The more casual and personable I was, the more opportunities I got. I was on to something. The business grew and so did I.
Perfectionism vs. professionalism
Let’s talk perfectionism vs. professionalism. This is noteworthy because during the past 28 years of my sales career, I have had to learn and make concessions in these two areas — so as not to drive myself crazy. My standards and expectations were unreasonably high, there was no room for mistakes in my life, and above all, I feared failure and judgment. Overwhelmed was my full-time state of being. Faking and hiding my reality eventually led to collapse. This is perfectionism.
Perfectionism can be linked to early childhood experiences or having parents with unrealistically high expectations. As a young girl, I remember having to clean the bathroom multiple times, until I got it right, as if my mother had cleaned it. As a young mom, I recall touching up the paint in my home on the weekends in case we had unexpected visitors — my home never looked like children lived there. Everything was in its place — total perfection.
At some point, I realized this had to change. I began to make shifts. I’d leave dirty dishes in the sink. I stopped touching up paint in the house. I learned to close the bedroom doors and give my kids the freedom to keep their rooms the way they wanted. I designated an area of the house that was always immaculate, and I gave myself grace and time to explore my upbringing and make decisions for myself on how I wanted to live.
These “life boundaries” as I call them have helped me to establish what professionalism looks like for me as a businesswoman, wife, mom, daughter, grammy, friend and colleague.
- Focus on the positive. Be the light.
- Lower the pressure you put on yourself.
- Meaning is more important than perfection.
- Set reasonable goals that align with your life vision.
- Face fears with courage and enthusiasm.
- Kick self-doubt to the curb. Focus on your strengths.
- Organization and structure add clarity to your life.
- Build authentic relationships — be both vulnerable and accountable.
- Accept responsibility when you make mistakes.
- Use your creativity to be a problem solver and team player.
Understanding the differences between professionalism and perfectionism has allowed me to have more balance and freedom in my life. Self-exploration helps people better understand who they are as individuals. It helps you unpack your baggage and find your purpose.
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