Resolve to Have a Better Attitude

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. 

“The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.”  

— Charles Swindoll

There was plenty of echo about wanting 2020 to be done and behind us. We certainly faced a lot of complex challenges this past year — globally, locally, and individually.  But what exactly do we expect to change in 2021?  There are no guarantees that it will be any better than 2020.

I’m not trying to be negative Nancy here. I think New Year’s Day is attractive for all of us as a fresh start. It’s as if each year we give ourselves permission to begin with a clean slate. It feels lighter and full of hope. However, we have to be realistic that external factors may or may not change. That is out of our control. What is in our control is our attitude.

As Charles Swindoll said so beautifully in the quote noted above, we can make the choice to change our attitude.  

Let’s look at a hypothetical involving two people. If John and Bob leave their houses in the morning for work and both find themselves stuck in unexpected traffic that is going to make them late, they could wind up having two very different experiences. 

John gets highly agitated. He calls his boss in a tizzy and honks at people around him. His heart rate goes up, blood pressure increases, he experiences muscle tension, and his thoughts race. Once he makes it to work, he is in a bad mood and flustered the rest of the morning trying to play catchup. 

Bob, on the other hand, acknowledges the unexpected traffic is frustrating, but accepts that it is a problem to work through this morning. He calmly calls his boss to let him know the situation and together, they develop a plan for how to cover for his tasks until he gets to the office. He makes a couple of other calls he had planned to make once he got to the office, remaining as productive as possible during this time. He then looks at it as an opportunity to listen to the podcast he’d been wanting to check out, and gains some fresh ideas from it. When he gets to work, he enthusiastically jumps back into the morning routine and shares the new ideas with his team. 

Both John and Bob faced the same scenario, but their choice in attitude created significantly different outcomes.

I’ve seen this same concept make or break people, businesses, and communities throughout this pandemic. Those who choose a negative attitude have struggled significantly more with relationships, emotional wellbeing, and finances. Those who choose a positive attitude have adapted and found positive things to embrace, including more time with family, better self-care, and a new appreciation for slowing down in life.

In this new year, I challenge you to focus your goals on attitude. Let’s look at a popular New Year’s resolution: weight loss. Instead of wanting to lose 20 pounds, what if your goal was to have a more positive attitude about your health. Here are some examples of the differences:

I need to limit my daily calories. 

My body works so hard for me every day, I will choose to treat it well each day with good nutrition.

I have to go to the gym five times a week.

vs.

It is such a blessing to be able to be healthy and active. I will take advantage of this place in my life by finding physical activities regularly that continue to build my strength and conditioning.

I need to get in shape before bathing suit season.

vs.

I am beautiful just as I am right now.  I will work on looking in the mirror each day and honoring myself just as I am and feel proud that I am working on building and maintaining a healthy mind and body.

As you can see, your mental and emotional wellbeing are intimately connected to your physical wellbeing and the way you experience the physical things around you. Using the example above, you are likely to be much more successful in maintaining a healthier weight by taking the approach of a more positive and encouraging attitude versus focusing on restricting and negative self-body image. 

It is crucial that we consistently make time and make the effort to nurture and strengthen our mental health. With this I encourage you to reflect and identify in what ways you could benefit in 2021 by changing your attitude. Happy New Year!

Kristin Woodling, a licensed mental health counselor and certified marriage and family therapist, owns Pamper Your Mind, LLC in Satellite Beach. She is devoted to providing a confidential and elite therapeutic experience to professional women seeking healing, clarity, and balanced lifestyle for optimal health.

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